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#81 2010-08-31 13:27:03

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once


This thread is obsolete.  You've been warned.

i.e.  Please just let it die...

Last edited by morhkt (2010-09-03 20:44:07)

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#82 2010-08-31 14:34:21

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

What about old users?


#83 2010-09-03 20:32:07

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

i'm not sure but if it's true than this will get deleted sad
oh yeah


#84 2010-09-05 16:25:08

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

Are we reviving this? Thinking if we want to start this again a new thread should be made as this is from '07 people come and go (like me tongue)


#85 2011-05-13 18:32:51

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

I am here.


#86 2011-08-08 13:14:12

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

It appears I hadn't checked in yet.


#87 2011-10-06 09:18:57

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once



#88 2011-10-06 16:22:47

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
and you just need to take it out on someone,
don't take it out on someone you know,
take it out on someone you don't know,
but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialled it.
A man answered, saying

I politely said,
'This is Chris.
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an a**hole!'
and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to it,
and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an a**hole!'
It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my therapeutic  'a**hole'
calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi,  this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an a**hole!'
and hung up.

One day I was at the store,
getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,
but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
right after calling the first a**hole
(I had is number on speed dial,)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW a**hole, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree  Blvd , in Fairfax .
It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked,
'When's  a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,

I said,
'Don, you're an a**hole!'

Then I hung up,
and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called a**hole #1.

He said,

I said,
'You're an a**hole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,

He screamed,
'Stop calling me,'

I said,
'Make me,'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'a**hole, I live at 34  Oaktree  Blvd , in Fairfax ,
a yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer  parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole,'
and hung up.

Then I called a**hole #2.

He said,

I said,
'Hello, a**hole,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered,
'Well, a**hole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at  34  Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

This anger management stuff works great!


#89 2012-08-26 21:52:13

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

Post, bump, repeat.


#90 2012-12-24 14:00:50

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

Well, this thread seems pretty dead. Might as well post some Aesop Roque lyrics.

flash that buttery gold, jittery zeitgeist
wither by the watering hole, border patrol
what are we to heart huckabee art ***** suddenly?
not enough young in his lung for the waterwing
colorfully vulgar poacher outta mulch
like "i'm 'a pull the pulse out a soldier and bolt"
sign of the time we elapse
when a primate climb up a spine and attach
eye for an eye by the bog like swamps and vines
they get a rise out of frogs and flies
so when a dog-fight's hog-tied prize sorta costs a life
their mouths water on a fork and knife
and the allure isn't right, no score on a war torn beach
where the cash cow's actually beef
blood turns wine when it leak for police
like "that's not a riot it's a feast, let's eat!"

and i will remember your name and face
on the day you are judged by the funhouse cast
and i will rejoice in your fall from grace
with a cane through the sky like "none shall pass"

aah, fly me up high! x2
none shall pass
aah, fly me up high! x2
none shall pass

if you never had a day a snow cone couldn't fix
you wouldn't relate to the rogue vocoder blitz
how he spoke through a no-doz motor on the fritz
cause he wouldn't play roll over fetch like a b****
and express no regrets, though he isn't worth a homeowner's piss
to the jokers who pose by the glitz.
sign of the swine in the swarm
when a king is a whore who comply and conform
miles outside of the eye of the storm
with a siphon to lure out a prize and award
while avoiding the vile and bazaar that is violence and war
true blue triumph is more
like wait, let it snake up outta the centerfold
let it break the walls of jericho
ready? go! sat where the old cardboard city folk
swap tales with heads like every other penny throw


"you tried to trick me
you've gotta lot of nerve"
"i'm not trying to trick you
i'm -trust me- i'm -trust me- i'm trying to help"

okay, woke to a grocery list
goes like this: duty and death
anyone object come stand in the way
you could be my little snake river canyon today
and i ran with a chain of commands
and a jet pack strap where the back-stab lands if it can
sign of the vibe in the crowd
when i cut her belly open to find what climb out
what a bit of gusto he muster up
to make a dark horse rush like enough is enough
it musta struck a nerve so they huff and puff
'til all the king's men fluster and *****
and it's a beautiful thing
to my people who keep an impressive wingspan
even when the cubicle shrink
you gotta pull up the intruder by the root of the weed
NY chew thru the machine


#91 2012-12-24 15:57:57

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

Goodness, it seems this thread just doesn't want to go away, does it? Perhaps it is cursed or something to never die. I'm probably not helping by posting as well, but whatever, this thread is funny. tongue And look over there, on the 2nd page, it's 5 and a half year younger me! Hi!

Last edited by The123robot (2019-04-16 15:55:09)


#92 2012-12-25 16:31:28

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

I now know the chorus to None Shall Pass so that's profit right there.


#93 2013-02-22 13:06:18

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

Hey! It's douchebaggy me from four years ago!

The current douchebaggy incarnation of me finds the douchebaggery of the old me banal and uncreative. I'm sure it will be delightfully droll when, four years from now, the douchebag I am then looks back at the douchebag I was now and makes a differently-worded but content-identical statement about the 2013 me.

Last edited by felis20 (2013-02-22 13:34:40)


#94 2013-02-22 21:35:46

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

I think I still haven't posted in here, so hey!  What's up?


#95 2013-04-01 04:58:28

Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

post #43!!!


#96 2013-07-29 19:46:25


Re: ATTENTION: Everyone Post Here Once

And then I showed up to the party... Just a little late


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